A guy is driving around the back woods of
 Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken
 down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He
 rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him
 the dog is in the backyard.
       The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice
 looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
       "You talk?" he asks.
       "Yep," the Lab replies.
       After the guy recovers from the shock of
 hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
 The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered
 that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted
 to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no
 time at all they had me jetting from country to
 country, sitting in rooms with spies and world
 leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
 eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable
 spies for eight years running."
 "But the jetting around really tired me out,
 and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided
 to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport
 to do some undercover security, wandering near
 suspicious characters and listening in."
 "I uncovered some incredible dealings and was
 awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess
 of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
 The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks
 the owner what he wants for the dog.
 "Ten dollars," the guy says.
 "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on
earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that
shit. "